That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
