It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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