if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
