I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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