There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
