Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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