Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize