Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize