Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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