the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
