Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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