I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
