it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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