You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
