I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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