I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
