sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
