"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize