I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
it glows. i had to have it.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize