I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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