Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
