They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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