Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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