i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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