He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
