so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
