there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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