So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
