Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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