Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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