i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
