Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
