I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
please don't ironically join a cult
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