So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
