my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
