I want to have your abortion
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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