i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
