We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
