mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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