I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
