That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
so much tequila, so little girl.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
