Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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