One girl and one boy is just not enough.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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