It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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