I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
