True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just found puke in my bra..
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
