Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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