uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize