I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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