but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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