im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
