So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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