lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
