I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
