Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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