dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize