Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
