but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
