ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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