I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
