Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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