I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
