my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
